Pet Peeves - "Noone did it."

"Noone did it."

Once Upon A Time, four alumni from the New Yuk University of Knuckleheads named Everyone, Someone, Anyone, and Noone had an important job to do. Everyone was sure that Someone would do it. Anyone could have done it but Noone did it. Someone got angry because it was Everyone's job. Everyone thought Anyone could do it and that Someone would do it. But Noone realized that Everyone wasn't going to do it. In the end Everyone blamed Someone when Noone did what Anyone could have done.

Most of us have a pretty good idea who Everyone, Someone, and Anyone are, but who is this Noone character?

By any chance is it Peter Noone of the classic British pop band, Herman's Hermits?

Or could it be Richard Noone, the guy who wrote that crackpot book called 5/5/2000: Ice: The Ultimate Disaster?

Or 2001 Emmy winner Elizabeth Noone?

Or Jimmie Noone, famous jazz clarinetist? No wait, he's dead.

Or maybe Johnny Noone who hurled a few foul mouthed invectives at his boss because he has to work on Thanksgiving Day?

Or could it be attorney Robert Noone who travels the country as an entertainer with his "legal comedy" group The Well Hung Jury?

Actually, the most common version of this story is about Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody, but I changed the names slightly to drive home the point that "no one" is always two words, not one.

I don't know who owns the copyright to this story and apparently neither does John Martin, an examiner in the U.S. Copyright Office.